1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
You may be asking yourself, is this a lame email fwd that Chandler got and laughed about and put on her blog because she thought it was funny even though I've seen it before or at least seen emails similar to it? And the answer would be yes.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
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3 comments:
number 5 is by far my favorite. HA!
You're the reason I don't drink coffee.
Okay, so maybe not really, but if you did that it would confirm my stance for tea.
Poor Ellen.
i definitely said that the hairdryers at target looked like radar guns and thought of this very email/fwd.
my dad still thinks ordering "diet water" is funny. as well as saying, "to go" at the drive-thru.
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